Disillusionment & Another Chapter Closed

I would say that before this, I had only experienced disillusionment once in my life.  I had a teacher that I adored in middle school.  Then she became my boss after high school and I lost all respect for her when I saw her in a different job position.  It was sad to think that I had respected her at one point and had I not ended up working for her, I would have never known she wasn't that great of a person.

Well, another chapter in my life is ending, albeit a brief one, that has yet again left me disillusioned.  When I went to community college right after high school, I loved it!  I loved the atmosphere, the teachers knowing my name, being able to talk to them in the halls and hold stimulating conversations.  It led me to realize that I didn't want to teach young kids anymore, I wanted to teacher older kids... then after I received my bachelor's, I decided to get my master's so that I, too, could be a community college teacher and have an experience like that of the ones I had as a student.  So, when an opportunity came up for me to teach at the same CC that I went to, I was ecstatic.  I uprooted my family and moved back to the community from whence I came.

Boy, was that a mistake!

I was hired as an adjunct and I quickly found out that being an adjunct puts you on the same level as being a window washer on a street corner.  It pays pennies and no one respects you.  Now, let me say, my boss/supervisor/guy I answered to, is awesome!  I love his personality, dedication, yadda yadda.  This guy has been given so many tasks that I don't know how his brain doesn't explode. 

So this was my fourth semester teaching there.  After being hired, I realized that the school sees adjuncts as warm bodies.  Other than my boss, I don't think anyone knew my name.  I could walk by any employee and they probably assumed I was a student.  Adjuncts don't get acknowledged for anything in staff communications, HR congratulatory or with sympathy announcements... we are just worker ants to them.  And the pay... wow.  Of course it is more than minimum wage, but when you are not allowed to teach more than 8 credit hours (rule for adjuncts), and you can get scheduled to teach anytime during the day, it doesn't give you easy access to have outside jobs. 

I drive 17 miles to work and 17 miles home from work to teach one 50 minute class four days a week.  I could make more by substitute teaching a few times a month, but guess what, I can't- the class I teach is in the middle of the day.  There is a community college about 90 miles away that pays almost double. 

And although I love teaching, the lack of respect that I receive in my job is disheartening.  I have had two semesters where I loved the students I had (I've taught more than one class a couple semesters).  But last spring and this spring, I have had students that make me depressed at the idea of having to be around them every day.  Fortunately those are the ones who skip class a lot.  I have found that only a handful of students actually care about their education, which is also disheartening. 

So, being as this will be my last semester teaching there (I have other things going on that make it seem like the right decision and my boss is retiring), I have decided to post about my disillusionment.  A school that I had loved and was so enthusiastic about returning to to teach turned out to be an illusion.  When you're on the other side of the table, you see the inner workings of the school and how unhappy so many people are.  I'm just a rusty cog in their machine and I wish that I had not had to experience the other side of the operation.  I know that every school is probably similar when it comes to adjuncts, but this was MY school.  Just like the teacher I mentioned in the beginning, had I not returned to teach at MY school, I would have gone the rest of my life thinking that it was still one of the greatest places to be.

Sponsored Review: Stella Cove Beachwear for Kids

Stella Cove swimwear for kids

Even though it seems like summer weather will never get here, have faith!  One of my favorite things about summer is swimming, and that gene has been passed along to my daughter.  Since she goes swimming in public so much in the summer, I try to find her a unique swimsuit that not everyone will have and since it will get plenty of use, occasionally I am willing to splurge and spend a  little more money than I normally would.  If you feel the same way, enter Stella Cove.  They have some super cute, unique designs and I guarantee that if you are not going to see these awesome swimsuits on every kid at the pool!  I received the swimsuit that you see pictured, and the print is Kravitz design, cockatoos on fog blue.  Since I am opposed to my daughter wearing a two-piece, the full coverage aspect on this was really appealing.

Downfall:  My daughter also inherited my gene for having a long torso.  Stella Cove swimsuits tend to run small and even though I requested a size larger than my daughter wears, the torso wasn't long enough, which made it appear to be quite inappropriate! It was disappointing, but one of those things that as a mom, you learn to live with and adapt.  My daughter is also in the 90th percentile in height for her age, so if your child is more petite or even average size for her age, you should have no problems.  I would just be sure to check size charts before you order. 

I would say that with the super cute designs (I think the Jemima and Berkley cuts were my favorite- adorable!!!) these swimsuits are definitely worth the additional price to have your little princess looking her best at the local aquatic center, a pool party, or even at the beach!

Stand back, I'mma gonna unload!

I'm not a huge proponent of airing dirty laundry on the internet.  I don't mind giving my opinion, but I try not to do any mudslinging.  This MIGHT be an exception...

It has often been insinuated (and flat out said) that I met my current husband while I was still with my ex-husband.  In fact, small minds put big ideas in my ex-husband's sensitive ears telling him that I had to have cheated on him.  But here is the true story of the three little pigs... or whatever:

About a year before we split for good, my husband moved out for 2 months.  Guess how many people in my family knew:  ZERO.  Guess how many people in his family knew: two?  I think his sister and grandma knew.  We just didn't want to hear anyone's opinions and felt it was best to figure things out from there.  He moved back in after a couple months, but it was soon apparent that things were never going to get better and it ended up being more of a roommate situation. 

Anyway, fast forward to summer of 2010.  I had finished my first year of my master's degree and had started losing weight and gaining confidence and self esteem.  I auditioned for a local play and realized that there was so much more to life than the depressive existence I was leading.  When I wasn't at home, I was truly happy.  I had friends, I had motivation and ambition to succeed in life, and I realized that to be a good mom, things were going to have to change.  So, I let my husband know that it was over for good.  I told my mom like the next day, but I don't think I told anyone else.  I knew it was over... I'd known it was over for YEARS.

What is hard, is not having any support.  I didn't have any friends that I could really rely on at the time and there was no way that any of my family was going to willingly help me out.  I had no one. So, I figured that we would share the house and my ex-husband agreed he would move out so I could stay in the home with the kids... but a month went by... he was still there... two months went by... he was still there...  things got hostile, my kids were being exposed to things they didn't need to be and living in a small town with loose lips and people who needed hobbies made it really hard for me to keep going.  I knew that if I wanted to really be out, I was going to have to go.

So, I did.  I haven't regretted it since.  My kids are thriving, smart, happy and great students.  I am happy, my ex is happy, I am working in my dream job and things are going so great. 

Apparently what comes into question about my current husband is when we met and started dating.  We MET about a month after I left my ex.  We didn't become a couple until six months later.  I knew he was a good guy, but I also knew that I needed to figure out what I wanted in life and what I needed to do to be happy.  But more importantly, I had to figure out how to bring my kids out of a divorce unscathed.  I was not looking for a relationship, but apparently fate wanted me to meet David.  Life's too short to wait for the things that you know you want and maybe we didn't wait 3 years to get married or anything, but I think that the decisions I have made in the past couple years have been the best I could make for myself and my kids.

So there's the story.  I don't actually need to justify my actions, but after it was brought up again recently, I just thought I'd throw it out there to the millions and millions (kidding) of people who read my blog. 

Girl power!

Good parenting doesn't come from a book.

Think about it:

If Dr. A writes a book on parenting and Dr. B writes a book on parenting and Dr. C writes a book on parenting and Dr. D writes a book on parenting... if they all give you different information and have different ideas, how do you know which one is "right?"

I'm sure every parent that loves their child and wants the best for them has ideas on how to be the perfect parents and raise the perfect child.  You can ask my parents: I was NOT the perfect child.  Does that mean they were bad parents?  No, it means I made poor choices and was a weeeeeeee bit rebellious.  But guess what, I think I turned out pretty dang good in the end. 

We can guide our children in the right direction, we can nurture them and provide for them, but we can't hold their hands through life and expect them to be perfect.  What one quack says today can be completely different that what another quack says tomorrow.

I think good parenting is instinctual and involves a person's morals and values.  If you teach your children good morals/values and lead by example, I'm pretty sure it will bring about better adults in the future.  I'm sure there is a happy medium between being a drill sergeant Nazi and being a yeller and a spanker who lets their kids do anything they want and buy them everything they want.

So far I think my kids are pretty good, but I know I'm not perfect and I know they aren't.  I just know that I don't need some flavor of the week Duck telling me how to raise my child! 

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.  :)

Review: Bubble Guppies: On the Job DVD

I love Bubble Guppies!  It's one of the rare cartoons that doesn't annoy me to listen to while my kids are watching it.  It's also nice because my children are 5 and 7 and will both watch it, which is also rare for one of the "preschool" themed series.  The premise is that each episode the Guppies have a task that they need to complete and they go about trying to accomplish that task throughout the show while interacting with the other characters that live around them.




Bubble Guppies: On The Job! Episode Synopses:

Fishketball!
Join Team Guppies to explore bouncing, throwing, catching, and all kinds of ball games as everyone practices and prepares for their big game of Fishketball!

Build Me a Building!
It’s going to be the best doghouse EVER! But before Bubble Puppy can move into his new doggy digs, the Bubble Guppies have to build it – and learn about construction too.

The Grumpfish Special!
Join the Bubble Guppies at their restaurant as they wait tables, cook food, and serve their most difficult customer yet. Can anything on the menu get Mr. Grumpfish grinning?

Call a Clambulance!
When Oona’s friend Avi breaks a bone in his tail, he needs to visit the doctor. Mr. Grouper helps the Guppies learn that it’s a doctor’s job to make everyone feel better.

Firefighter Gil to the Rescue!
When a fire-breathing dragon threatens to burn down the Bubble Guppies’ royal kingdom, it’s Firefighter Gil and his water-breathing dragon to the rescue!

A Tooth on the Looth!
Deema has a loose tooth, and when it falls out, she’ll get a visit from the Tooth Fairy! Until then, the Bubble Guppies have lots to discover about dentists and healthy smiles.



"Set to a soundtrack of catchy pop songs, Bubble Guppies infuses the core elements of kindergarten readiness, including: math, literacy, the arts, science and socio-emotional development. The DVD features a special double-length episode, “Bubble Puppy’s Fin-Tastic Fairytale,” guest-starring Wanda Sykes. In addition, families can enjoy two extra Bubble Guppies episodes, and DVD exclusive special features including a “Create Your Own Bubble Guppy” game, karaoke music videos and a jukebox song selection. Bubble Guppies closed 2011 as the top preschool series across all TV with kids 2-5."

MOTR Grade: B+

Bubble Guppies: On the Job is now available on DVD!!!

I finally caved... kind of.

I am anti-video gaming for kids.  Now wait, wait, before anyone gets up in arms, I am not saying you are a bad parent if you let your kid play video games.  I just don't like the idea of letting your kids play video games for hours daily.  I remember being young and using my imagination, reading books, playing outside... and I didn't hate my childhood!  My brothers had a Nintendo and then a Super Nintendo, but I rarely played it and if I did, I had to pay a penny per game.

We had a Wii.  L liked to watch people play, but didn't really want to play.  A liked to play... scratch that, loved to play.  But the Wii was in the living room and they had to ask to play and we usually said no, so they forgot about it for the most part.  The Wii began collecting dust so we decided to sell it.

I know a lot of people who have given their children iPads, tablets, Kindles, Nintendo DS, PSP (do those still exist) along with the traditional systems like Wii, Playstation, XBox 360 and some are addicted, some aren't.  Some parents regulate usage, some don't.  I definitely don't want my children to have anything with internet access right now.

So David and I were talking about this road trip we plan to take with the kids to Florida this summer.  It is an 18 hour drive.  I know how boring it was as a kid taking a 5 hour drive to my grandparents' house a few times a year.  At one point we had Gameboys or Walkmans and I would bring books, but it was still a long trip.  I also remember we used to use our own money and when my dad stopped at Sam's we would buy the biggest and cheapest pack of AA batteries we could find!

Now to the denouement of my story: we toyed with the idea of getting them a DS for the trip.  I thought it was a lot of money to spend on L when he wouldn't understand it very well, but David felt it wasn't fair to get A one and not L.  I couldn't do it... I tried, but I couldn't do it.  So we ventured to the toy section and we stumbled upon LeapFrog and V-Tech systems that are similar in concept to tablets and the DS, but are educational and more little kid friendly.  After what felt like an hour scouring over the details, specifications, pros and cons, we settled on getting them each a LeapsterGS, which plays Leapster Explorer games.

Today is day two that they've had it.  I'm not thrilled about how much they ask to play it, but I am going to stick to my guns about limiting how much they play it so they don't become junkies.  I can already tell they aren't going to be happy with me about it, but I still believe that kids need to do real play, not just video play.

Are you for or against giving kids gadgets?  What, if anything, do your kids play?

New Year's Resolution... Broken!

Okay, so if you read my resolutions for the year, you will recall one of them was to blog more and blog better.  Then if you read the post right underneath this you will see it was over a month and a half ago.  Here's why:

1) I'm busy... and I mean busy... like some days I don't have time to eat busy (too bad I'm not losing any weight!)  Between my three grad classes this semester, having a preschooler in a school 17 miles south, a first grader in school here and teaching at a college 17 miles north, I spend a lot of time driving.  And then there's 8 month old Baby H, who has recently decided he doesn't want to nap more than 30 minutes a day.  And to top it off, there has been a lot to get done for my wedding reception in April.

2) Blogging takes away from fulfilling my other resolutions.  If I clear out time to blog, I am losing time that I could be spending playing with my kids, spending time with my husband or working on school work.  Usually by about 9pm every night David and I are passed out on the couch, attempting to watch something on DVR.  Today I just happened to have a few minutes while Baby H is asleep and the kids are playing together, I'm in between loads of laundry and my school work is done.  David is working 12 hours (gotta plow those snowy roads) so I won't get to see him until 7pm.  Today is a snow day for both my kids and I as all our schools were canceled.

3) I don't have much to say.  Really.  Yes, I'm busy, yes I have thoughts, but I just haven't felt like sharing them.  I have had a couple annoying things come up that I would love to rant about, but because they involve people who know people who read this or people who might read this, I will refrain from airing my dirty laundry on those subjects.  I haven't felt passionate about anything enough lately to talk about it.

There you have it, the reason for my absence.  I am going to attempt to write another blog after this and postdate it, plus I need to get a bunch of reviews in, but I should probably get to those dishes soon... we'll see what happens.

Eavesdropping on imaginary conversations.

This isn't the first time I've eavesdropped on my daughter talking to her imaginary friend.  I don't even know if it is her imaginary friend.  It could be that she is being followed by a ghost or spirit and she thinks there is actually someone there or perhaps she is just talking to hear herself talk.

Often times when she is way overdue for bed, she will act irrational and the littlest things will make her think the world is out to get her.  It is usually at those times that she will lie in her bed and cry and start saying things like, "Mommy hates me and I really didn't want to eat what we were having for dinner, but no one understands that I don't like it."  Now, granted this is probably for the benefit of whomever is in earshot because she wants us to know she isn't happy.

But it's the other times that seem kind of wackadoo.  I will catch her talking at length about some random topic and there is nobody there to listen.  Case in point, right now I am sitting in the kitchen with all the lights off.  She thinks everyone is asleep.  She was just in the bathroom and I could hear her perfectly.  She started telling this story about how she used to have a girl kitten and a boy kitten and the girl died and she found it dead.  Then she started talking about a dog we used to have... I wasn't sure what she was talking about with the dead kitten, but maybe that was at her dad's house after I moved out.  But anyway, she was just telling these stories as if someone were there to listen.

If I ask her who she is talking to she will just tell me that she isn't talking to anyone.

I know imaginary friends are normal, but I just feel like this isn't an imaginary friend.

Thoughts?

Febreze for the Holidays

Kids smell.  Animals smell.  Men smell... everyone smells.  Aside from reupholstering all your furniture, putting in new carpet, hosing down the curtains and throwing all the smelly people out of your home, there's not a lot you can do... so you think.

If you've never used Febreze, I'm not sure where you've been.  I've been using Febreze spray since it first came on the market.  You know the commercials where the people are lying on the floor sniffing the carpet and not wanting to move?- yeah, it smells that good!

Anyway, like any great invention, it inspires more great ideas.  Febreze has more products than just spray out there now and they also have a variety of scents. They offer a variety of candles, plug-ins (NOTICEables), fabric refreshers and air fresheners.  If you want to keep your house smelling like something other than what inhabits it, here are some great ideas:

The Febreze Holiday Collection is the perfect finishing touch to your holiday home

• Discover decorating tips and ways to make your home more inviting for the holidays with videos from design expert Candice Olson at Walmart.com/Febreze
• Refresh your home with six warm and inviting scents
  • Apple Spice & Delight: The warming scent of fresh-baked apples coated with sweet cinnamon (available only online)
  • Cozy Vanilla Sugar: Sweet as notes of vanilla that comfort you like a cocoon of blankets
  • Cranberries and Frost: Rich as ripe cranberries and frost on a white winter’s day
  • Glistening Alpine: As soothing as a tree-lined mountainside glistening with the scent of pine
  • Winter Magic & Glow: Crisp as sunshine-lit icicles in fresh, frosty air
  • Holiday Bloom & Cheer: As cheerful as a chorus of holiday aromas blended with winter blossoms
   

*These Febreze products, information, and two gift packs have been provided by Febreze.

2013 New Year's Resolutions

I tend to only make resolutions that I'm pretty sure I can accomplish.  Of course I always wanna resolve to lose weight, but let's be honest... who sticks to that resolution passed the first week?  If it happens, yay, if it doesn't happen, boo.

So this year I am making four more realistic and do-able resolutions.

1) Be nicer to my husband.  I have issues.  I'm hard to live with.  I don't like people.  But I chose to marry my husband and really, I can't imagine a better catch.  He loves me unconditionally, he loves my children like his own (well, one is his), he is a good provider, a hard worker and he would do anything for me.  Sure he annoys the crap outta me a lot, but anyone that doesn't completely agree with their spouse is annoying, am I right?  And although when he is grumpy it is hard for me to bite my tongue and not wanna throw him out the nearest window, I'm going to try my best to be nicer to him both to his face and behind his back.

No one tell him about this resolution- he doesn't read my blog, so don't be snitching on me!

2) Blog more and blog better.  I have three blogs.  This one, 365 Queries and my anonymous mental health blog.  I go through phases when I feel like blogging and when I don't.  Aside from reviews, which I've tried to be more selective about, I only blog if I feel I have something good to say.  I don't want to force out some blah blog about some menial topic like the weather.  I took a grad class last semester (I got an A, thank you very much!) that was all about writing for the web.  I learned so many good tips about being an effective blogger and social media persona!  Hopefully I can work on implementing these- I've been taking baby steps.

3) Play with my kids more.  I have issues.  "Play" is not a word that often enters my vocabulary, let alone my way of thinking.  Although I love my parents and thing they did a lot of things right, I can not recall a single instance when they played with me.  I'm sure they did when I was really little, but after that, I don't remember any form of interaction that involved fun having.  I was fortunate to have two older brothers who would play with me, though.  I can tell that when I do play with my children it means so much to them.  My sons are already happy-go-lucky and affectionate, but my daughter tends to be a little more reserved with those emotions.  But when I play with her, I find that she really feels happy and afterwards is very loving towards me.  I like it!

4) Finish my masters.  Now this is easier said than done.  I'm done with the grad class portion where I have to meet my hour requirements.  But I'm still waiting on someone to get on board with my capstone.  I don't know if it is because I burned bridges when I withdrew from the university in 2010 and no one wants to work with me.  I understand that many of the professors are legitimately busy, but nonetheless... I am hitting brick walls.  In theory I could be done at the end of this semester.  Is it likely?  No.  Unless I can find someone to direct my capstone by Jan. 14, it's a no go.  Then comes summer semester... and if I still can't find anyone... fall... then spring... you get my drift.  I just wanna be done with it so that my boss will quit harassing me and I can have more teaching opportunities.  Plus I'd like to start on my masters in sociology as well.

Well, that about sums it up.  I have a few little things here and there that I think about, like not caring so much about having shitty "friends" (there are a couple that aren't), being a better teacher, being more positive... but those are kind of lifelong ambitions.

Anyone wanna share their resolutions?

Toy review & giveaway: NogginStik™ Developmental Rattle

I don't often get excited about the things I review these days.  Sure, I might get something here and there that I find appealing, but aside from books, I mostly get duds.  This however, I was really excited about being offered and then completely stoked when I received it!

SmartNoggin created the NogginStik™ Developmental Rattle and they really knew what they were doing!  As soon as I opened the package and gently shook the rattle, the head lit up.  All it takes is a gentle shake or bop and the head/face on the rattle changes colors in a glowing light.  It is also a basic rattle in that it has the slender handle and makes a rattling noise, but then as aforementioned, with the light up head/face and a base that will let it stand up, it is way better than an ordinary rattle!  There is also a mirror at the bottom of the base, but I don't think my 6 month old has shown interest in that part yet.

He loves it when we stand it up and he tries to scoot forward towards it.  I swear he has figured out what it takes to make the colors change as well.  But he also likes to hold it when he lies on his back and when he sits in his highchair and plays with toys.  It is not only one of his favorites, but one of mine as well.  I can't express enough how neat of a toy it is!  It is twenty bucks, which might have you thinking it's a steep price, but if you consider how long they will play with it and how developmentally worthwhile it is, it is totally worth it!  I was even thinking of gifting some out.  I also plan to hang on to the one I have after Baby H outgrows it to keep for future children.  Definitely a keeper!!!  (Pictures below are of my son.)

Here's a little ditty from the company: "Your baby's learning journey begins at birth. Simple interactions early on can help your child succeed later in life. The best part? It takes only a simple toy and a handy guide to help you start laying that foundation from day one. NogginStik™ isn't just a cute toy. It's an educational tool that will guide you through activities and interactions that will promote healthy brain development and bonding, and bring enjoyment to both you and your child."

GIVEAWAY DETAILS:
 The folks at SmartNoggin have been generous enough to provide one of my readers with a free NogginStik™!!   Open to US residents only.  Ends January 18 at noon central time.

To enter:
Like SmartNoggin on Facebook!  Comment below letting me know you did so and what like # you were on their Facebook page.

Additional entries:
1) Tweet a link to this:  Example tweet "Awesome #toygiveaway from SmartNoggin and @hamsterkitten!  Win an innovative NogginStik rattle for your baby! http://www.momontherandom.com/2012/12/toy-review-nogginstik-developmental.html #giveaway"

2) Repin my giveaway. 

3) Post link on Facebook.

For each of the above entries, leave link below.

Thanks & good luck!!!

Guilt and the chubby guy in a red suit.

You know one word that probably doesn't come to mind when people think about Christmas?

GUILT

 I'm sure a few of you reading this are thinking, "um, I've totally been saying this for years!"  Okay, well to those of you who haven't... this blog's for you.  I have a huge issue with guilt as it is.  In fact, my new therapist pointed out to me the first visit how many times I used the words guilt and guilty when talking about my feelings.  I had never realized what a huge "burden" it was to me until she pointed it out.  But this blog is more centered around guilt and Christmas, so I will forge ahead.

My first point about guilt is the receiving end.  I've had this problem for YEARS... if my mom gets me a gift I don't like, I feel huge amounts of guilt.  I know she put a lot of thought into it, spent her hard earned money on it and was probably quite pleased.  So I feel awful if I don't like something.  I think that this is the reason why to this day I abhor (and I mean ABHOR) opening gifts in front of people.  I don't like having to fake a smile if I don't like something, but I don't want to hurt someone's feelings either.  What tends to happen if I get a gift I don't like is that I put it in a closet for a year until I can let go.  Then I feel guilty getting rid of it, but feel better about not hoarding things I don't need.  It doesn't really bug me if anyone else gets me a gift I don't like... because it's kind of expected.

Next item of guilt: gift giving.  I've never really realized how much guilt this brings until this year.  I don't really emphasize Santa with my kids.  I don't want to "lie" to them, but I don't want them to miss out on something that the kids around them are excited about.  So I don't really tell them about Santa, I just don't NOT tell them about Santa.  I let them think what they like based on the world around them, books, peers, mass media.  They can't even make a trip to the doctor without being asked about Santa.  But this year I was privy to seeing what both kids asked for from Santa.  Each only asked for one thing and guess what- I hadn't bought either of those things!  They were definitely not expensive items, I just didn't know they wanted them.  I'm not big on the "make me a list of 100 things you want and I'll buy 10."  I prefer at the age my kids are now to buy things I think they will like based on what their interests are.  Now if I noticed them eying something on the shelf at WalMart, I might keep that in mind, but I don't ask them specifically for a list.  I like to think I'm in tune with what my kids like.  But anyway, I felt guilty knowing that neither of them got the one thing they asked for.  Well, as luck would have it, what my daughter asked for was actually something I got for my son for his upcoming birthday.  He didn't ask for it, I just thought he'd like it.  So quick wrapping paper swap and under the tree it went with her name on it.  That meant he had one gift less than her... which meant I needed to get him another one... which left room for the thing he asked for.

  

Does this make it seem like my kids are spoiled?  I don't think so.  But it alleviated a bit of my guilt, and that's what I wanted.  I also feel guilty if I don't think the gift I got another family member is something they really want, but there's not much I can do about that.

Anyone else get Christmas anxiety due to guilt?    

Book Review: Not Your Mother's Book...On Being a Stupid Kid

Not Your Mother's Book... On Being a Stupid Kid created by Dahlynn and Ken McKowen

How many times have you thought about things you did when you were young that you would never share with your parents?  Or maybe you are willing to tell them, but not until you've moved out of the house and feel like they can laugh about it with you.  I know I have plenty of those stories, but I'd never share them with my parents!  I have told my friends and my husband, but I wouldn't dare tell my parents!  Not that what I did was illegal or immoral, just that I don't want them to shake their head and think they raised a moron.

What I liked about this book is that it is comprised of stories that the creators have looked over, chosen as the best and edited for the book based on what I'm sure numbered in the 100s.  They narrowed it down to 59.  From the very first story, I was hooked and here's why.  My ex-husband's grandpa used to tell stories of his childhood.  Of course, you never hear about these wild stories until you become and adult and then your parents and grandparents are ready to share.  Anyway, he used to tell us about how you could drive cars across the Mississippi in his home town because the ice would get so thick.  I kept thinking about how crazy that seemed and I would never have the guts to do it!  Well, guess what... apparently a lot of guys had the guts to do it back in the day (and probably today).  One of the first stories was a similar one about a group of boys who had nothing to do one day, not enough gas to drive very far, so they decided to drive on a frozen lake.  I won't tell you what happened, but obviously since he was able to tell the story, he survived the experience!  

The book is categorized into the types of events that the different stories pertain to and each are told from the culprits point of view.  If you ever did something off the wall, then I'm sure there are at least a couple of these stories you can relate to!  I would definitely recommend this for your own read, but think it would also be a great gift (think Christmas!) for any adult.  I almost said it would be a good gift for a teen, but then realized they might get ideas... so scratch that unless you think they can be trusted not to pull any crazy stunts!  

 

"There’s nothing worse than getting caught with your hand in the proverbial cookie jar, yet alone confessing to all those stupid things you did when you were a kid and lived to tell about. Yes, you know where the bodies are buried. 

Inside, you’ll read stories about crazy capers, double-dog dares and outlandish adventures—those youthful escapades you never shared with your parents! Thus the reason to hide this book from your youngsters and especially your teenagers . . . you might give them ideas!

Exactly 59 authors from all over the US and Canada contributed original stories that have been published in the newly released book, Not Your Mother’s Book . . . On Being a Stupid Kid, the lead title in the edgy new entertainment series by creators Dahlynn and Ken McKowen"

CD Review: Kidz Bop Christmas!

My daughter LOVES Kidz Bop.  No exaggeration.  No stretching of the truth for review purposes (as if I ever would!)  She stinkin' loves Kidz Bop.  And let's be honest, I don't LOVE it, but I do LIKE it.  I pretty much listen to Top 40, popular music stations in the car, so whenever Kidz Bop puts out new CDs, I get to listen to them all at once and skip the occasional ones I don't like.  Sure they are edited and a bit cheesy, but the music is quite similar.  (Although no one can compare to my Bruno Mars!)

Anyway, this holiday season, Kidz Bop released Kidz Bop Christmas!  Unlike the random songs on the Halloween CD, this actually had your typical classics and popular Christmas songs.  I told my daughter that we could listen to it anytime she was in the car between now and Christmas.  My son says he likes it, but I think it is more because he likes whatever his sister likes.  But, if I have to listen to Christmas music and it's not Manheim Steamroller, I don't mind listening to Kidz Bop.

Also, if you weren't aware and you have a child that REALLY REALLY REALLY loves Kidz Bop, they have a bunch of toys and musical themed items available.  I know they sell them at Toys R Us, but I also saw some at Walgreens.

 

Track list:

1. All I Want For Christmas Is You

2. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

3. Up On The Housetop

4. Winter Wonderland

5. Must Be Santa

6. Silver Bells

7. Mistletoe And Holly

8. It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

9. Christmas Wrapping

10. I Saw Three Ships

11. The 12 Days Of Christmas

12. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

13. Jingle Bell Rock

14. Go Christmas

15. Auld Lang Syne

Review: Professor Child's Children and Divorce Film

Who do you think would know best what a child feels like when going through a divorce?  Yep, children!  I know that when I went through my divorce, we were required by law to take a Children in the Middle Class, but I guarantee that many people who take that class still don't realize the impact their actions have on their children... fighting in front of them, using them as pawns...  it's very sad.

With this film, instead of adults telling you how you should behave, this chronicles the story of  eight children whose parents got divorced.  They tell you how they felt before, during and after.  They offer advice to other kids AND parents.  I think so many parents these days are selfish and can't put themselves in their kids' shoes to know how their actions are affecting them.  It IS okay to divorce, but there is a right and wrong way to do it and when you have kids, you have to realize the right way.

"In the documentary-style film, Children and Divorce, eight children come together to share their personal divorce stories. Their stories are unique, yet universal. They describe what divorce means to them, how it has changed their lives, what has helped, what they love most about their families, and much more. Through their journey we hear that divorce is a part of their lives, but does not define them. They get to choose who they are in the end. These children are honest, brave and courageous in their storytelling and will leave you with a feeling of hope."

I thought that the DVD was very insightful!  It is broken up into chapters that offer feelings and advice on different aspects of divorce.  When used as a teaching tool, the way the chapters are divided up makes it easy to pause and discuss after each chapter.  I definitely think this would be great for some kind of group therapy with kids!

Even though the idea behind this is kids teaching kids, I think that adults should watch it too.  We can't see divorce through the eyes of a child, so it is good to hear from them how they really feel.   I wish some of the people I know would watch this, because I feel for their kids, who are in the middle.  I'm on the fence on whether or not to show it to mine because it has been a couple years since my split with their dad and I don't want to open old wounds.  Maybe my 7 year old would benefit from it.

Anyway, definitely recommend this for parents to watch with their kids- hopefully they can realize that the kids have feelings too and it's not just about them.

Children and Divorce is the production of Professor Child, developer of educational tools for children experiencing challenging life events. 

Professor Child’s educational philosophy is one of children teaching children. Our films are unscripted and the children's stories are purely their own. Professor Child is the creation of three mothers coming together with a fundamental belief in empowering children. We believe children have a powerful voice that is relatable, healing and hopeful. Ultimately, we want children to know they are not alone in what they are experiencing and that much can be learned by simply listening to another child’s story.

 I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Restoring some faith in humanity.

So I have to say that lately I've been bombarded by how selfish people can be and also how lackadaisical people can be.  It just blows my mind how people don't realize that you can't just take, you have to give... it's called karma because when people do nice things for you, treat you with respect or do things that they wouldn't normally do just because they are good people... and you don't reciprocate- don't be surprised if your life doesn't come out roses.  I think this is generally because shitty people make shitty life choices and decisions and it crashes down on their shoulders eventually.

Anyway, but on a positive note.  I recently met this gal through my grad class.  We instantly clicked and although I never get my hopes up, she seems like someone I'd like to be friends with for a long, long time.  Anyway, she has really kept my spirits up and made me laugh (which is a huge deal in my book.)  Well, last night I drove 100 miles to class on a different campus just because she wanted me to.  I thought it would be nice to see her again (she lives a distance away) and it would be courteous of me to do so.


At the end of class right before I had to make the 100 mile trip back home at 8:30 pm in the dark in unfamiliar territory... my phone died.  I was a bit freaked.  Not only would the hubster be worried sick for 2 hours, but if something happened out in the middle of these podunk 55 mph highways, I'd be SOL.

Enter new friend... she (out of nothing but pure goodness of heart) GIVES me her car charger.  WHO DOES THAT???  She does!  I was so thankful and blown away that I have not stopped thinking of it.  It has somewhat restored my faith in humanity and I'd also like to thank her parents, cause they obviously did something right in raising her.

Thank you, New Friend.

Vlog: Do All Males Ask Dumb Questions?

A Little Ditty About BPD

As many of my loyal followers know (I'm sure there are sooooo many of you- haha), I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder.  Well anyway, I think most people know what bipolar disorder (BD) is to some extent, but I don't think as many people are aware of what borderline personality disorder (BPD) really is.

I found this interesting article through some social media circles I follow and I wanted to share a tidbit out of it that I find to be a big aspect to my personality and my BPD.

Well, first of all, here's a bit about common "symptoms of BPD."

"Characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder. Is there someone in your life who has five or more of the following characteristics?

1. This person makes frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
2. Their life is filled with unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. They have a persistently unstable self-image.
4. They are impulsive in two of the following areas that are potentially self-damaging (spending, sex, substance abuse, shoplifting, binge eating, reckless driving)
5. They threaten or make gestures toward suicidal behavior or self-mutilation (ex: cutting)
6. Their moods tend to be reactive and include a mixture of depression, anxiety, rage and despair, lasting from a few hours to a few days.
7. They have chronic feelings of emptiness
8. They respond with intense anger which may manifest in physical fights
9. They dissociate when under stress, which means they detach from a situation and don’t remember it later. Your memory of a particular incident may be very different than their memory of it.

Having five or more of these traits are indicators of a person whose personality fits the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You may also see other attributes that are not part of the actual diagnostic code (DSM IV), but are common to the disorder. Many of these are related to sexual or physical abuse in early life. The person may suffer from deep shame which they are either consumed by or deny. Inside they feel worthless, isolated, empty, but will guard against exposing that inner truth to themselves or others"

First off, I want to point out that I was never abused in any way in early life, just wanted to clarify that!  Secondly, I only have 8 of these traits, so let's be thankful for that!  

Okay, so the main point I wanted to get to from the article, which I have found many similar studies on was about BPDs being able to "read people" very well.  I have always found that I had this knack, but never knew that it was so highly associated with BPD.  So here is the excerpt (from same article linked above) of interest on that: 

Some BPDs have an uncanny ability to read people so well that they can uncover the other person’s vulnerabilities. In Paul Mason’s book, “Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About has Borderline Personality Disorder,” he describes this sensitivity as an “astute ability to identify and use social and nonverbal cues of others. BPDs can empathize well with others and often understand and respect how others feel, and they can use these skills to “see through others.” It is thought that many adults who were repeatedly physically and/or sexually abused as children developed these social and emotional antennae as a survival strategy. This helped them predict and therefore prepare themselves for what their abusers were about to do.”

I found this to be quite fascinating and I was so glad to have my feelings on this reaffirmed.  Isn't it an awesome feeling when you learn something is a well-known idea when you have had a hard time convincing people of it when they roll their eyes behind your back and think you're delusional?

Anyway, thank you for taking time to enlighten yourself on BPD.  I'd love to hear thoughts on this!